My Very First and also Last Funeral Party

I used one of those "When are you going to die" calculators, and this is it, the day of my death. It didn't get into the specifics of what time the deed was to be done, but I am sure with this much warning that you should be all able to make it (those that are still with the living).

It is being held at Karrakatta Cemetery, I've already rang the place and book my plot, so hopefully I want be shoved in next to an old war veteran. The ceremony will be very nice, and there are going to be cucumber sandwiches and soft drinks for anyone that wants to stay and discuss my life a bit after I am committed.

For those that are wondering, it is calculated that I was hit on the head by a coconut, whilst on my 3rd honeymoon

anyone who wants to say a few words on my behalf, feel free to post your opinions in the space provide below, also looking for a epitaph